Clearing Dad Pain

Was your dad perfect?

Mine was pretty good, but I can totally look back and spend hours listing things he might have done differently.

Not necessarily because that would have been better, mind you, lol. Just because I am an expert criticizer!

If you are reluctant to connect with your dad today, or if you are carrying old dad pain around, consider making this the year you decide to heal it.

You have moved out of the house. Maybe he has passed on. It’s time to let go.

Here the way I heal things “out there” that are bothering me.

Making Peace with the Inner Dad

On this Father’s Day (and maybe for the next year), contemplate how you feel about your father.

  • Is your relationship an energy sink?
  • Do you still entertain thoughts that he should have done this or acted that way?
  • Is there any frustration or negative emotions that drain you?

You do not have to confront him or tell him anything. That will only create karma and more negativity down the road.

You can heal any relationship completely from your side. Whatever harmful connections between you two, you can unhook them from your side. And they will be gone.

How can you begin doing that? Consider this method:

  1. Choose the most difficult thing about your relationship. What is he doing or not doing? In what way does he fall short?
  2. Where in your life do you do what you complain about him doing?
  3. Where in your life do you NOT do what you hate that he DIDN’T do?

It might not be easy to see these. Since they are so irritating in him, you won’t want to find them within you, of course. Nonetheless, in my life, it is exactly the things “out there” that annoy me so much that are what I am struggling with inside, too. Find a good friend or a spouse or a healer who can help you see yourself or brainstorm this.

Then ask yourself: how can you let go of these painful thoughts/qualities/behaviors yourself?

And: How can you do (in a healthy manner) for yourself, your inner child, or your children what he never did?

When you practice this for a while, it will not rankle that he did/didn’t do that. When you heal a mind pattern in you, you will not be bothered by his still having it.

You are responsible for you. You cannot heal your dad, but you can heal YOU.

Now find your own fatherlike qualities.

Instead of wanting someone else to DO something for you, how can you father yourself? In my experience, doing this will unseat the negative image of your dad.

We love dad, but we don’t have to drag the negative aspects of him around with us.

Happy Father’s Day.

© Daria Boissonnas 2012 All Rights Reserved. Please inquire about reprint rights.